Friday, 3 August 2012

When White Roses Turn Red (Part II)

I dropped my prejudice and went out with him like it was just a friendly day out. It was not even a date! We watched a movie and then took a walk to Central Park. Our conversation that day became more intimate than usual; Robert confessed that he was in love with me and that he wanted to be together. For one split of a second I wanted to grab him and hug him and kiss him then tell him how I wanted him, too. How I love him so much.  Robert was a charming and funny guy. He could take away all your worries and replace it with a wide smile on your face. His face is like an angel, so innocent and kind-hearted and reserved a huge obsession to painting. He loved painting pictures of different themes. He once dreamt of having his own gallery shop where he could display all his masterpieces but he died when he was about to achieve it…  But instead I dodged his confession and talked something else. I was so nervous that I kept babbling until he reached up my hand and caressed it…he pulled me closer towards him and gave me a gentle kiss that sent sparks all throughout my veins like high voltage. I was never happier than any of my happy moments combined and I was so selfish that I forgot about Helena’s reaction if she will find out about me and Rob. I have stolen his boyfriend and I felt bad about it. I tried to reach Helena but she kept on ignoring my sms and calls. Several times I tried to talk to her at her place but she refused to even open her door. This cost me our friendship. She never talked to me since then. I just found out that she gave up her work and flew back to her home country in Austria where her parents live. I was so heartbroken…yet Robert was there for me, he was always there…
                We’ve been together for almost three years now and I wondered when he would propose to me. Together we had so many memories kept in my heart. I remember when I got caught by the blizzard and was stranded inside my stuck car on the woods where no help arrived. I was so cold my whole body was so numb that I couldn’t even move my hands to open the door of my Chevy. Robert came rushing through the cruel snow and broke the glass that separated us. I was so enormously big that time but he managed to carry me on his back and took me home; made a very salty soup but we laughed about it...then we had a great sex. I remember when I got home early from work and I saw Robert in the kitchen trying all his might to cook me a nice dinner. The chicken soup he was cooking smelled so bad and the meat was grilled excessively that it was palatable anymore. The oven with a small pie in it was filled with smoke and was about to start a fire. I also remember when I got sick with the flu that had struck the city, he took a leave from his work and took care of me in the hospital until I got better and even stayed at home for a week to look out for me even though his leave has already been due. It caused him to be terminated from his work but he never felt regrets about it but if ever did, he never showed it to me… I miss his loud cracks, his goodnight hugs and kisses. I miss his handsome face that I used to see first thing in the morning upon opening my eyes. I miss going with him to church during Sunday masses and look for someone or something to laugh about. I miss his great appetite for sex that had always satisfied me every time we do it. We had a vivid imagination of the future: getting married, a dozen of kids, a house, a business and trip to places we’ve never been before.Then we’ll grow old together, dreaming of counting each other’s grey hair. Then our kids will marry and eventually give us grandchildren. I can’t think of a happier dream than that of what we had…
                Our third anniversary came and we planned for a romantic dinner at our favourite seafood restaurant. I waited for him thereto arrive from his business trip to England to promote their business. I sat on the chair and waited for him patiently as he promised he will come. He never missed any of our anniversary celebrations so far so I sat there and made myself busy for the moment. I wanted to be the most beautiful woman among the people inside the diner when he arrives. I checked my face in the mirror, still stunningly beautiful. I can’t stop those guys who were looking at me admiring my seductive looks. My new velvet dress from Chanel added the points. The women passing at my candle-lit floral table gave me looks with different meanings. Some may have envied me but some stares never escaped my questioning eyes from being cursed by how prettier I was than them. Robert always feels proud every time we walk at a crowded street or go shopping. But sometimes I lose his patience because of the hours-long I am spending trying to buy a pair of boots or a single dress to wear at work. I consider it normal for us, women because we really need an exquisite amount of time for shopping. Robert says it is just a waste of time. Why try hard to fit the largest size of a shoe in your feet when there’s no hope of actually fitting it to you? He has a point.
                I waited for so long for his arrival. I was wishing so desperate this would be the day he propose marriage to me. I will accept it with no hesitation. For hours I waited for Robert but he never came. I didn’t notice I have already drunk the half of the champagne bottle served to me. I began to worry. What if he won’t show up? What if he found a new love during his week-long stay in England? What if he’d trash me like what he did to Helena? A lot of ‘what ifs’ were going out of my head and it made me shiver like was inside an elevator made of ice. I finally took the courage to reach my mobile phone and dialled his number but his cell was out of reach. I comforted and assured myself he would be arriving as he promised. Maybe he dropped by his gallery studio to see how it has been. It will soon open for exhibit and many of his friends and clients were dying to see his magnificent works of art. He will soon be entering the door in his black tux with three white roses on his hands. One, two, three, four hours have passed and no face of Robert came. People come and go out of the restaurant but I never saw him. I have emptied the bottle and my chest began to rumble. Something wasn’t right…My phone ringed, it was an unknown number. It was John, Robert’s co-worker on the other line delivering me the most terrifying news I’ve ever heard. I could hardly digest the words that came from John’s mouth as he retold me what happened. I ran out of the restaurant and hurried towards St. Anne’s Hospital, the ten kilometres seemed ten miles for me. I was crying thinking of Robert, this was so unexpected and very tragic. The traffic made me growl in anger, I walked out of my car and ran as fast as I could. I let out a loud scream as I saw Robert lying on the hospital bed covered with blood. His face was unrecognisable because of the heavy amount of blood that covered his face but I was sure it was him. He was wearing the brown bead bracelet I made for him a long time ago.  A part of his feet was missing and his suit was tore apart revealing his hairy chest. All I see was blood…a lot blood. I saw the white roses beside him covered with blood, some its petals had fallen on the floor and next thing happened, blackness conquered me and I fell on the floor. Robert died from a tragic accident on the day of our third anniversary…
                Police officers’ intrinsic report said he was last seen coming out of a jewelry shop holding a bouquet of white flowers wearing a sweet smile on his face. As he was trying to reach up for his car parked on the side of the road, a reckless ten-wheeler truck driven by a drunk driver came rushing through the road and accidentally, Robert and his car were crashed by the raging truck. I can’t think of any valid reason why God had made this thing happened to me and Robert. Was it because I stole Robert from my best friend Helena? Was it forbidden to be happy and stay in the arms of the one you truly love? I can’t believe how ironic and cruel my once happy and contented life turned into. Death took my beloved Robert and a part of me also died with him…
The wind was so cold and the rain never stopped, this time it rained harder raging through my veins. My long black dress now fitted so tightly on my shivering body. I opened my arms wide and stared at the black sky. Tears and the rain mixed together on my face. I looked down and from the 27th floor that I was standing, I see nothing that pure darkness. Again, I closed my eyes and let darkness swallowed me as I was falling from the building to face death with Robert still lingering in my head…

When White Roses Turn Red by Angel Gambon
 xx the end xx

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